You can’t imagine it, Jessie J remarks. There she was gearing up for her new album launch in eight years, ecstatically in love with her recent boyfriend, and finally the mother of a toddler after facing fertility challenges for a decade, on top of the world. Suddenly in March she was diagnosed with cancer in her breast.
The singer-songwriter, real name Jessica Cornish, is renowned for being brutally honest. The record, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an transparent story, dealing with every moment of pain she’d faced since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, pregnancy loss, failed relationships, psychological manipulation, mental health struggles) with her usual frankness. The initial release, her single No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Then second single, Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and Cornish was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while all the while dealing with her cancer. Four weeks after she shared the news, and in July she underwent breast removal surgery.
She gives me her best “What the fuck?” look. “I release with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every press talk, and they’re, like, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I’m, like, ‘Uh, nothing really’” Cornish has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s awaiting reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a studio in London. She is dressed in a light brown synthetic jacket, jeans with ornate white designs, cream boots and large glasses. Imagine rocker vibe meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, referencing the movie. “That’s what people called me at school!” She smiles. Cornish is sharp-witted, bold and blunt. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is planning to attempt her standup debut next year. “I like entertaining. During performances I basically roast the fans.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
Cornish was preparing for an performance at the Baftas when she discovered a mass. “I immediately went to get it examined, had an scan, and they said, ‘It looks like nothing; your tissue is healthy.’ And I insisted, ‘However, it’s there. I’ve got an achy arm and numbness in my fingers whenever I get up.’ And they replied, ‘How about a biopsy?’ It happened on March 28, the post-birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The specialist told her if it was concerning she’d contact on the start of the week. By then Cornish had convinced herself it was okay. The way she tells it, it was just bad timing to face illness when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after eight years without an album and four years without a single. And she [the doctor] texted and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I jump on the Zoom believing it’s all going to be good, and she says, ‘Please take a seat.’ You know that sad tone they use? And she says, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have shown malignant cells.’” What was your reaction? “I said, ‘That’s unfortunate. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘My child depends on me.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She viewed the procedure terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They walk you down. You know when you have emergency surgery you roll down in a bed, but this time I just marched with a hospital gown and my bum hanging out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, she adds, she’s been blessed. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the procedure. “Cancer is awful, but you know what? I’m grateful it was caught soon. I had the mastectomy a few months back and my affected breast now appears as a grapefruit under a tight bedsheet.” A further beam. “At least the nipple remains.”
The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her chest, she observes, are now “different sizes. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. That’s impolite! I felt, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! It’s funny because I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got obsessive tendencies, and I know they’d never be perfect. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
She is no stranger to illness. She thinks her perspective on the cancer has been so positive because she’s familiar with medical emergencies. Frequently they align with career highs, functioning as a wake-up call, or punch in the stomach, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Honestly, I feel fate says, ‘Enjoying yourself? Take a seat.’ Ever since I was a child, it has consistently accompanied moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has affected my well-being.”
She takes me back to her 11-year-old self, already making her debut performing in the West End in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition WPW, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and heart flutters. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She fast-forwards six years, and young Jessica has become part of the trio Soul Deep while studying at the Brit School. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a automobile accident and my throat was injured and I couldn’t sing for a twelve months.”
Oi, I say, slow down, I am overwhelmed. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
